That feeling....

I had my face held up with my eyes closed. I was feeling each drop of water hitting my skin and absorbing its force onto me. Drops of water on my face became streams flowing through the troughs of every part of my body. I was completely drenched with water but I feel as if there are more parts in me that had to be drenched. So I stay still. I stand on the edge of the roof of a 35 storey office building where I had been working for the past three year. Even though I face death in its face, this rain keeps me calm. It always has. Since when I was a little kid, I used to come back home from school drenched with water whenever there was a rain. It is not that I was immune to its coldness. I always got sick every monsoon. It was a tradition at my home when I was in school. My mother would shout at me each time. I guess it is not such a smart thing to do. But every time when I was bedridden for weeks due to this, I always had a sly smile inside my mind feeling that I did something amazing. Thinking about that right now, brings back that sly smile back in my mind. I never understood everyone's disgusted feeling whenever heavy rain begins marking the start of monsoon. It maybe due to their thoughts of the muddy puddles everywhere afterwards or the flooded roads. Whatever it might have been, I haven't even cared to know since I was madly in love with this rain. It was a very long time since I had made love with the rain like this. Three years to be exact. The rain was kissing me all over my body with each of its drops. It was good to have this feeling back. I knew this was the last time I could feel like this. Because I am going to kill myself in a few minutes. That sly smile from inside my mind came out.